Edmund Ironside
Edmund II, better known as Edmund Ironside (circa 993 – 1016) was king of England from April 23rd to November 30th, 1016. The son of one of England’s worst kings, the weak Ethelred the Unready, Edmund was a vast improvement over his father and made of sterner stuff. He earned the surname “Ironside” for his staunch resistance to a massive invasion led by the Danish king Canute.
Beginning in 991, Edmund’s father, Ethelred the Unready, sought to get the Danish Vikings then occupying northern England to stop their incessant raids into his kingdom by buying them off with tribute known as the Danegeld, or “Danish gold”. That only emboldened the Danes, who took the gold, demanded more, and kept on raiding. Finally, after bankrupting his kingdom and beggaring its people to pay the Danegeld, an exasperated Ethelred ordered a massacre of all Danes in his domain in 1002.
The Danes responded with a massive invasion, led by their king Sweyn Forkbeard, who conquered England in 1013 and forced Ethelred to flee to Normandy. However, Sweyn died the following year, at which point Ethelred returned. With Edmund playing a leading role, Sweyn’s son, Canute, was chased out of England in 1014. Canute returned the following year at the head of a large Danish army which pillaged much of England, but crown prince Edmund mounted a fierce resistance which stymied the Dane. When Ethelred died in 1016, Edmund, by now known as “Ironside” because of his staunch resistance, succeeded him as Edmund II.
His reign proved brief, however. Seven months after he was crowned, on the night of November 30th, 1016, Edmund Ironside went to the privy to answer a call of nature, but unbeknownst to him, an assassin was waiting in the cesspit for the royal posterior to show up. When Edmund sat down, the assassin stabbed upwards with a sharp dagger, and leaving the weapon embedded in the king’s bowels, made his escape. Unfortunately for Edmund, his side might have been iron, but his bottom was not.