12 of the Craziest English Aristocrats

12 of the Craziest English Aristocrats

Tim Flight - June 18, 2018

12 of the Craziest English Aristocrats
Sir John Dineley, Baronet, The Famous Knight of Windsor Castle by Alan Hogg, London, 1803. Wikimedia Commons

Sir John Dinely-Goodere

Sir John Dinely-Goodere, 5th Baronet (1729-1809), came from a long line of prominent aristocrats. He was the second-born twin son of Samuel Goodere, who was hanged for the murder of his own brother in 1741. John’s elder twin, Edward, inherited his father’s title and estates but died insane and unmarried in 1761, leaving his eccentric younger brother as his heir. Sir John decimated the family fortune, and had to sell his estate at Burhope, Herefordshire, in 1770. However, he believed himself to be owed £300, 000, albeit obtainable only by legal action. Destitute, he thus sought a rich wife.

Sir John’s friends had managed to secure him a pension as a poor Knight of Windsor, and he used his new address at Windsor Castle to secure a mate. Reckoning his family name to be worth a £10, 000 dowry (which sum could be reduced by £500 for especially beautiful brides), he compiled a list of suitable partners with careful notes on their looks and wealth. He advertised his thrice-annual wife-hunting trips to London in the fashionable papers and, when spying a suitable mate, would approach, bow low, and give them a piece of paper without speaking a word.

He would carry stacks of these impersonal written proposals with him at all times, and the content of them was unspeakably hilarious. ‘To the angelic fair of the true English breed: – worthy notice. Sir John Dinely, of Windsor Castle, recommends himself and his ample fortune to any angelic beauty of good breed, fit to become, and willing to be, a mother of a noble heir… Ladies at a certain period of life need not apply, as heirship is the object of the mutual contract offered’, ran one. Surprisingly, this romantic approach never secured the penniless Sir John a wife.

His ridiculous appearance would not have helped matters. John’s dress would have been fashionable several decades before, but by the late 18th century a powdered wig secured with a chinstrap, dirty silk stockings, and velvet breeches were no longer considered à la mode. Though he never managed to find a rich, beautiful wife to secure his debt and continue the baronetcy, Sir John had a few near-misses. On several occasions he believed that he had found a suitable candidate, only to discover that his beau was actually a man in drag. Undeterred, however, he continued the quest until his death.

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