11. Hemorrhoids were historically treated in a number of painfully unscientific ways, most unappealingly through the insertion of a red hot poker up the bottom and which commonly resulted in painful and potentially fatal rectal abscesses.
Hemorrhoids, also known as piles, are natural cushions that form as part of the human anal canal with the purpose of easing and maintaining rectal command. Although innately benign, through a number of factors, including pregnancy, diarrhea, and constipation, hemorrhoids can become inflamed to cause considerable pain. First mentioned in 1700 BCE by the Ancient Egyptians, the condition has endured across the centuries, through Ancient Greece and Rome, Medieval Europe, to the modern day, with an estimated 50-66% of all adults destined to suffer from inflamed hemorrhoids at some point during their lives.
During the Middle Ages, hemorrhoids became associated with Saint Fiacre – the patron saint of gardeners – who himself notably developed the condition during the 7th century. Believed to be a result of inadequate veneration of the canonized priest, the suggested medical treatment involved heating “seven or eight small pieces of iron” and inserting said scorching metals into the rectum until the hemorrhoids fell off “like a piece of burnt hide”. Incredibly, this practice continued as late as 1882, with William Allingham recommending this archaic approach as the preferred mode of treating inflamed hemorrhoids despite noting results tended to be unsuccessful, ranging from “great pain” and “retarded recovery” to potentially fatal “abscesses”.