9. Heraclitus the Philosopher Covered Himself in Poop, and Was Eaten Alive by Dogs
Heraclitus of Ephesus (535 – 475 BC) was a pioneering Ancient Greek philosopher who advanced the notion that the essence of the universe is constant change, and coined the phrase “no man ever steps into the same river twice“. He also advanced the notion of a “unity of opposites”, whereby the universe is a system of balanced exchanges in which all things are paired in a relationship with those things exhibiting contrary properties. On the downside, Heraclitus was a misanthrope, and his misanthropy led him to avoid contact with other people for long stretches, during which he wandered alone through mountains and wilderness, surviving on plants and what he could scavenge.
When he came down with dropsy – a painful accumulation of fluids beneath the skin – doctors could offer no relief. So Heraclities decided on a self-cure, by covering himself in cow dung. He reasoned that the warmth of the manure would dry and draw out of him the “noxious damp humor”, or the fluids accumulated beneath his skin. Covered in cow dung, Heraclitus lay out in the sun to dry, only to get immobilized when the dun dried the dung around him into a body cast. He was thus unable to shoo off a pack of dogs, which came upon him and ate him alive.