The letter in question was written in 1745 when Franklin was 39 years of age. Although seemingly young in today’s world, Franklin was considered to be a font of acquired wisdom, having by then established both his literary and scientific reputations. The letter was written in response to a query from the son of a well-known Philadelphian seeking advice on the selection of a mistress.
Franklin was married at the time, a common-law marriage to Deborah Read, with two young children in the household, a third having died of smallpox nine years earlier. Franklin’s son, who resided in the house, was his openly admitted illegitimate offspring who had been born in 1730 and who was being raised somewhat reluctantly by Deborah.
Franklin began his letter – entitled Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress – by trumpeting the advantages of marriage as a natural outlet for sexual urges. He likened an unmarried man to one blade of a scissors, in other words, a useless tool. “A Single man has not nearly the value…” of a man in the married state, Franklin counsels, and recommends that his correspondent consider rather than a mistress, “…A prudent healthy wife…”.
Still, Franklin recognizes the impetuousness of youth as a motive for rejecting a marital union and offers further counsel regarding the type of woman a young man should seek for a mistress, both for personal gratification and public reputation. Franklin recommended that a wise man should “…prefer Old women to young ones…” and recognizing the unconventional nature of his advice provides a list of his reasons for coming to what was likely a surprising conclusion.
The first reason is experience. To Franklin older women have more experience with the world and the people in it and thus have the ability to discuss life in general from a wiser perspective. He finds older women to be able to participate in more “…agreeable…” conversations.
He then points out, along somewhat the same lines, that as older women begin to lose the natural beauty of youth they compensate by making themselves more pleasing by offering more services, such as nurturing and daily care of their consorts. He also points out the advantage of older women being less likely to bear children, “…which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience.”
Franklin makes much of older women being more discreet in their daily lives, a fact which will serve to keep an illicit affair hidden from the prying eyes of society, greatly to the benefit of a rising young man’s reputation. He argues that should the affair be discovered, society would be more likely to forgive the trespasses of an older woman, both out of sympathy for their age, and understanding of their need to care for someone younger than they.
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