36. Death From Shoving a Comb Up a Man’s “Pride”
Gouverneur’s Morris extended bachelorhood ended in 1809, when at 57, he married Anne Gary Randolph, 22 years his junior. She had a history: back in 1792, she had an affair with her brother-in-law, became pregnant, and had a baby. The baby conveniently died, and Anne was tried for murder, but was eventually acquitted.
Seven years into his marriage, in 1816, Morris had a urethra blockage, which caused him trouble urinating. He went for a DIY remedy, which backfired and resulted in his death. Morris tried to unblock his urinary tract by shoving a fine whalebone comb up his… manhole. It did not work. Morris ended up injuring the insides of his urethra, which grew infected and killed him. Gouverneur Morris had already distinguished himself during his lifetime as one of the coolest Founding Fathers. He further distinguished himself as he shuffled off the mortal with the weirdest death experienced by one of the country’s leading founders.