18. History’s Most Extreme, or at Least Odd, Consumer Protection Practices?
The Mad Caliph Al Hakim’s weirdness was not limited to his religious persecutions, nor to his delusions of being a reincarnation of God. His odd behavior was not confined to the realm of religion and faith; it also extended to the here and now of those earthly concerns that occupy the minds of secular rulers. For example, the Mad Caliph implemented one of the most extreme – or at least one of the most bizarre – consumer protection practices, ever: sodomizing dishonest merchants.
Al-Hakim reportedly used to walk through Cairo’s markets, looking for deceptive merchants. By his side during his hunts for market cheats was a giant black slave named Masoud. Whenever the Mad Caliph came across a merchant who was cheating his customers, he ordered Masoud to sodomize the crook publicly, right then and there. The legacy of such extreme consumer protection practices has endured for centuries: to this day, people in Cairo threaten to “bring Masoud” when they suspect that a merchant is trying to cheat them.