Double Oh Fail: 10 of the Most Inept Spies in the History of Espionage

Double Oh Fail: 10 of the Most Inept Spies in the History of Espionage

D.G. Hewitt - May 10, 2018

Double Oh Fail: 10 of the Most Inept Spies in the History of Espionage
Were Hitler’s plans to invade Britain undone by incompetent Nazi spies? Wikimedia Commons.

Carl Meier and the Nazi spies of Operation Lena

In September of 1940, Nazi Germany sent 12 spies to the UK. Their mission was simple: to report on British troop movements, civilian morale and, where possible, sabotage the enemy’s preparations for war. In short, the Nazi secret agents were to pave the way for a German invasion of the British Isles, to be codenamed Operation Sealion. However, these men were far from super spies. In fact, the dozen men of Operation Lena were really quite inept, making errors so basic and stupid that their British captors were convinced the Germans were playing some kind of trick.

Carl Meier was one of the first to land on enemy soil. The 23-year-old Nazi Party member had rowed ashore alongside three other men, landing on the south coast. His spying career was to last a matter of hours. Upon coming to shore, Meier strolled into the nearest village and found the pub. He went in and ordered a pint of cider. The only problem was it was 9 o’clock in the morning and, as every Brit knew, landlords weren’t allowed to serve until 11. What’s more, the mysterious customer was taller than the average Brit – he hit his head on the wooden beams of the old pub – and spoke in a funny accent. The landlady, a woman by the name of Mabel Cole, immediately called the police and Meier was arrested. His three comrades were also quickly rounded up and convicted of spying.

At the other end of the country, a pair of Nazi spies were also given away by their lack of preparation. Landing in Scotland, they found a pair of bicycles and set off on their mission – riding on the wrong side of the road! They were caught with German sausages in their pockets. Their war was over. Clearly, these men were incompetent and inept spies. But historians of the period think there may be more to the story. Could it be that the head of the German intelligence services deliberately chose young men who were passionate Nazis but terrible intellects, knowing they would fail on their mission?

Undoubtedly, there’s plenty of evidence that some spy chiefs, along with army heads, were far from convinced in Adolf Hitler as a leader. What’s more, some disagreed with the plans to invade Great Britain. Could it be that attempts at espionage were sabotaged from the inside? Or were the spy chiefs every bit as incompetent as the men they sent on Operation Lena in 1940?

 

Where did we get this stuff? Here are our sources:

“Nazi Saboteurs and George Dasch”. The FBI.

“William Colepaugh, The Connecticut Spy Who Went Out in the Maine Cold”. New England Historical Society.

“Spy Out of Jail”. BBC News, May 1998.

“Nathan Hale Blundered Into a Trap, Papers Show”. The New York Times, September 2003.

“How the F.B.I. Finally Caught Aldrich Ames”. The New York Times, January 1995.

“The world’s worst Nazi spy: The German agent caught by Canada in a matter of hours”. Tristin Hopper, The National Post, April 2016.

“The Socialite Spy Who Played So Dumb She Outsmarted the Nazis”. Christopher Dickey, The Daily Beast, September 2016.

“The Worst Spy Ever”. Martin Sieff, The Daily Beast, October 2009.

“The spy who couldn’t spell: How the biggest heist in the history of US espionage was foiled”. Yudhijit Bhattacharjee, The Guardian, October 2016.

“Secrecy and firing squads: Britain’s ruthless war on Nazi spies”. Ian Cobain, The Guardian, August 2016.

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