Werner von Janowski
During the Second World War, some secret agents went undetected for months or years. A select few spies even made it through the whole conflict without getting caught. But Werner von Janowski? Well, this bumbling Nazi only made it a few hours before he was caught. And, rather than being a victim of sheer bad luck or amazing counter-espionage, his cover was blown due to his own incompetence. Not for nothing has Werner been routinely dubbed ‘the worst Nazi spy’ of the whole war.
Hardly anything is known about von Janowski aside from his ill-fated mission to Canada in 1942. Despite the fact that the main theatre of war was many thousands of miles away, Canadians were on the alert for Nazi spies. In particular, people living close to the east coast were on heightened alert. They knew U-boats were patrolling the waters here and there were often rumours of sailors coming ashore or even spies landing in an attempt to infiltrate Canadian society. All the more reason for von Janowki to be extra cautious, right?
The secret agent came ashore on Canadian soil on the morning of 9 November 1942. He had been tasked with making contact with Canadian Nazi sympathizers and seeing if a popular rebellion in favor of Germany could be achieved. To begin with, von Janowski played everything by the book. He landed wearing a pristine German uniform, complete with Iron Cross. This way, if he was spotted, he could simply claim he was a sailor and so avoid summary execution. Undetected, he buried his uniform in the sand and assumed his false identity. According to his new papers, he was a Parisian-born traveling salesman who had been living in Canada for more than 20 years. So far, so good.
Sticking to the plan, Von Janowski walked into the quiet town of New Carlisle. His spymasters had instructed him to wait here until he could take a train to Quebec City. However, the spy had other ideas. He wanted a hot shower and a rest, so he found a hotel and tried to check in. Right away, the hotel staff knew something was up: The ‘traveling salesman’ claimed he had just arrived into New Carlisle by bus. But everyone knew the first bus of the day wasn’t due for another three hours. What’s more, he spoke with a strange accent, wore foreign clothes and smoked Belgian cigarettes. And then there’s the money. He attempted to pay with a Canadian bank note that hadn’t been in circulation for two decades!
Perhaps fearful for the safety, the hotel staff humored their guest and sent him on his way to the train station. They then alerted the authorities and a Mountie boarded the train. He asked von Janowski for his identity card. The rumbled not-so-secret agent replied simply: “I am caught. I am a German officer.” In all, he had been active for 12 hours, one of the shortest espionage careers of the whole war. The Canadian authorities tried to turn him into a double agent. The German quickly accepted the offer, but he was equally as inept at this, failing to provide any useful information about Nazi U-Boat movements. In the end, he was shipped off to a POW camp in England to see out the rest of the war.