27. Being Herod’s Son Was Still Better Than Being Herod’s Wife
Herod was obsessed with his wife Mariamne, who was said to be drop-dead gorgeous. However, considering how many of her relatives Herod had murdered, Mariamne could not bring herself to love him back. Eventually, after having five children with Herod, Mariamne stopped having sex with him, which fueled his suspicions that she was cheating on him. Herod’s mother and sister fanned those suspicions, and added to them accusations that Mariamne planned to poison him, as well. Eventually, Herod ordered Mariamne executed in 29 BC. That was bad enough, but things soon went from bad to grotesque.
Despite having ordered Mariamne’s execution, Herod exhibited intense grief for her death. He often broke into uncontrollable fits of sobbing, went into a deep depression, and was unable to let her go. That is, Herod was literally unable to let her go. According to the Talmud, Herod had his dead wife’s body preserved, and he kept making love to the corpse for seven whole years. The Talmud described it as Herod “fulfilling his animalistic desires” with the cadaver. It wasn’t just icky, but also sticky: Herod had supposedly preserved Mariamne’s corpse with honey.