32. Messalina Was Done in by Her Husband, Claudius
Valeria Messalina (circa 20 – 48 AD) was Emperor Augustus’ great grand-niece, and a cousin of the emperors Caligula and Nero. Along with Augustus’ daughter Julia, who was banished by her father for excessive promiscuity, Messalina is probably one of the most notoriously promiscuous women in Roman history. Her path to becoming Empress began in 37 AD, when the future Emperor Claudius, thirty years her senior, picked her to be his third wife. As with many unions between young women and much older men, the marriage did not work out. Aside from the age difference, Claudius was an exceptionally physically unappealing man: he limped, stuttered, and drooled. Those shortcomings led the imperial family to sideline him as an embarrassment and borderline idiot. He was no idiot – indeed, he was a scholar and the Roman equivalent of a nerd. Still, he was not exactly the type to set pretty girls’ hearts aflutter.
Claudius doted on his younger wife, who used her sexual allure to wrap him around her finger. When he became emperor in 41, Messalina got Claudius to execute or exile anybody who displeased her – and a good many people displeased her. She seems to have despised Claudius, and cheated on him nonstop. Brazenly so: in one instance, salacious contemporary accounts had her winning a competition with a prostitute to see who could sleep with the most people in one night. Her most famous affair was with a senator, Gaius Silius, with whom she plotted to murder Claudius, so Silius could take his place on the throne. Considering the recklessness with which she went about it, she might have been a bit unhinged: while Claudius was out of Rome, Messalina married Silius, and celebrated it with a huge banquet. Claudius rushed back to Rome, confirmed the affair, and had her executed.