29. The Weirdest Death Caused by the Medicinal Use of Poop
The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus (535 – 475 BC) was a self-taught man who advanced the notion that the universe is constantly changing. He was critical of other philosophers, had a dim view of humanity, loathed mobs and democracy, and preferred instead rule by a few wise men – a concept later distilled by Plato into the ideal ruler being a philosopher-king. Deeming wealth as a form of punishment, Heraclitus wished upon his fellow Ephesians, whom he hated, that they be cursed with wealth as punishment. In short, Heraclitus was a misanthrope, and his misanthropy made him avoid contact with other people for long stretches. During those times, he wandered alone through mountains and wilderness, surviving on plants and whatever he could scavenge. As Diogenes summed him up: “finally, [Heraclitus] became a hater of his kind, and roamed the mountains, surviving on grass and herbs“.
The belief in poop’s healing properties did him in. Heraclitus came down with dropsy, or edema – a painful accumulation of fluids beneath the skin and in the body’s cavities. Healers were unable to help, so Heraclitus, the self-taught philosopher, sought to apply his self-teaching skills to medicine and heal himself. He tried the unusual cure of covering himself in cow dung, on the theory that the warmth of the manure would dry and draw out of him the “noxious damp humor”, or the fluids accumulated beneath his skin. Covering himself in cow manure, Heraclitus lay out in the sun to dry, but the cow dung dried around him into a body cast. He was thus immobilized, and unable to shoo off a pack of dogs that came upon him in his vulnerable state, and ate him alive.