23. Wasted in Cleveland
Everyone at the Cleveland Indians ballpark – the young, the old, the drunk, and the soon to be drunk – chugged down the bargain brew, then staggered back for more. It did not take long for fans to get wasted. In the second inning, after the Rangers hit a home run, a heavyset woman was thrown out after she stormed the field and flashed her big boobs at the crowd, then tried to kiss the umpire. The crowd went wild – then fans began to pass joints.
Then firecrackers began to go off all over the place, and made the place seem like a war zone. It was still early innings, and things were about get way worse. When the Rangers hit another home run, a naked man rushed the diamond and slid into second base. Whatever injuries and burns he got from sliding naked on the dirt are unknown, because security failed to catch him. To be fair, they probably did not try that hard: would you go out of your way to try and grapple with a drunk naked dude covered in dirt?