21. ‘Have You Ever Seen Something as Big as This?!’
If there was one subject matter that LBJ never got tired of talking about, it was his Johnson. The 36th president was always eager to let those around him know that he had an unusually large penis. LBJ was a competitive womanizer, and whenever people mentioned JFK’s many affairs, he would bang the table and brag that he had more women by accident than Kennedy ever had on purpose. Today, the sheer number of sexual assault allegations LBJ’s conduct invited would probably force a presidential resignation – at least if he was a Democrat or TV president.
From early on, LBJ was notorious for creeping out people, especially in congressional bathrooms. If a colleague entered as he was finishing off at the urinal, he would often swing around, still holding his member, and whirl it around while hooting: “Woo-eee! Have you ever seen something as big as this?!” Johnson would then begin discussing pending legislation, while continuing to brandish and shake his Johnson.