There were really two different types of women in the Sultan’s harem, the wives and relatives of a sultan and slaves. The experience you had in the harem on a daily basis largely depended on which group you belonged to. By far, the largest group was made up of slaves. Slavery was extremely common in the Ottoman Empire and slaves were largely drawn from non-Islamic societies on the fringes of the Empire like the Balkans, Caucasus, and Africa. Thus, while the Sultan had wives he married for the usual purposes of forging alliances and continuing his dynasty, he also had a significant number of enslaved concubines.
Enslaved women in the harem were known as “jariyahs,” and were typically brought to the harem at a young age. Once a jariyah entered the harem, they usually chose a new name for themselves, severing their links to their past life. For the most part, the early years of their lives were focused on education. The girls were given daily lessons in everything from dancing to basic math. In fact, the education provided to the girls in the harem was much better than that which most women in the Ottoman Empire received.
But above all, the girls were expected to learn manners and courtly traditions. They were judged on how well-mannered they were and girls who were often disobedient were usually banned from the harem and married off to a commoner. On the other hand, girls who excelled in their studies were taken to serve in the palace. Some were assigned to work on basic tasks like helping to cook or washing clothes. But the most clever and talented girls were given positions of significant importance, like helping to manage the household accounts or helping to run the palace’s daily operations.
The most beautiful and well-mannered girls were often brought to meet the Sultan. It’s a common misconception that every girl in the harem had sex with the Sultan. The truth is that most girls never even spoke to the ruler. However, the Sultan would occasionally choose women from the harem to share his bed. And once they did, they became an official part of the Sultan’s household and were moved to live with the Sultan’s wives and relatives. In the apartments of the Sultan’s family, the girls would help raise any children they had with the Sultan along with their half-siblings.
The relatives of the Sultan lived in something that could be described as a “gilded cage.” They were provided with nice clothes and good food and had a standard of life that was much higher than the average inhabitant of the Ottoman Empire. But they were still rarely allowed to leave the harem. When and if they were ever permitted to go outside the palace was determined by the Valide Sultan, the mother of the reigning Sultan. The Valide Sultan was in charge of the harem, and she had the literal power of life and death over the women inside.