DO observe the strict rules about mourning
When it came to the act of mourning, the Regency era was a bit more relaxed than the Victorian era that followed it. That said, however, there was a strict code of conduct in place, especially among higher society. And, of course, there were certainly written and unwritten rules a lady was expected to follow if she were to lose a close family member or a husband. Once again, failure to juggle societal expectations with coping with personal grief again could lead to a lady’s reputation being ruined.
In the immediate aftermath of a death in the family, a lady was, of course, expected to wear black. This was to be worn for 12 months if a husband had died, for six months following the death of a parent or parent-in-law, and for just three months after the death of a sister, brother, aunt or uncle. Hems were supposed to be broader than normal, and no fancy jewelry was to be worn during the mourning period. Furthermore, shiny fabrics, however fashionable they might have been at the time, were deemed unacceptable for a lady. What’s more, ladies in mourning were expected to shun all society events, even if they had been expressly invited. To turn down an invitation during this period was not considered rude – indeed, to accept one would have been scandalous!
After a certain amount of time, a lady could transition to ‘half mourning’. Again, there were strict rules in place here. Only grey or perhaps lilac clothes were acceptable, along with modest jewelry. A lady might begin to ease back into society and could even attend a dance. However, actually dancing before the designated period of mourning was over was deemed poor form and likely to stain a lady’s reputation for good.