DON’T dance with the same man more than twice
In the Regency era, public houses (or pubs) and clubs were off-limits to women, or at least to well-bred ladies. As such, a dance represented the best opportunity to catch up with acquaintances, make new friends and potentially even meet a future husband or wife. However, dances were no social free-for-all. Instead, they were highly regulated affairs, with chaperones and, in many instances, a ‘Master of Ceremonies’ overseeing proceedings and ensuring that the rules of propriety and decorum were maintained – especially by the ladies present!
At a dance, a lady could simply not ask an unknown gentleman to waltz with her, no matter how handsome he looked. Rather, the pair needed to be formally introduced before they could take to the dancefloor. Fortunately, Masters of Ceremonies performed this useful function. Indeed, if a lady arrived at a ball where she had not been introduced to any of the men previously, she would automatically seek out the MC and he would ensure that she had partners to dance with over the course of the evening. And, while there was a rule that two ladies could not dance together, this was often overlooked. After all, with many gentlemen away fighting it the Napoleonic Wars, there was not always a 50/50 gender split at dances, as Jane Austen herself noted on several occasions.
Once the dancing has started, there were even more rules to follow. In Etiquette of the Ballroom, an 1815 bestseller by Thomas Wilson, ladies are advised that clapping or any outward displays of emotion or enthusiasm are strictly prohibited. Similarly, stopping a dance before the music has stopped or even leaving the ballroom before all the dances have ended, was regarded as a sign of ill manners. And, perhaps most important of all, a lady was judged on the number of times she danced with a man. One dance was to be expected. Two dances in one night would suggest that the gentleman wished to get to know the lady better. And three dances with the same chap on the same night? That would ensure the lady got a bad reputation for being over-familiar and would surely see her put on the black list for future balls.