The Biggest Screwups That Changed History

The Biggest Screwups That Changed History

Khalid Elhassan - April 29, 2023

The Biggest Screwups That Changed History
Medieval Muslim traders in India. Cambridge University

An Unforgettable Fart

Abu Hassan endured many weird and wacky adventures en route back to his native land. Among other things, he survived encounters with lions, endured snake bites, and was forced to hide from bloodthirsty bandits. Eventually, he reached is hometown, and his eyes brimmed with tears when he looked down upon it from nearby hills. However, he was wary of the reception he might encounter, and told himself: “They might recognize me, so I will wander about the outskirts and listen to what people are saying. May Allah grant that they do not remember what happened“. Allah did not grant him his wish.

Disguised as a dervish, Abu Hassan wandered around his hometown for a week, and eavesdropped on people in hopes that he might hear any mention of his name. Finally one day, as he sat near a hut’s door, he overheard a young girl ask her mother: “When was I born? One of my friends needs the date so she can cast my fortune“. The mother replied: “Dear, you were born on the night Abu Hassan farted“. A disappointed Abu Hassan immediately rose, and once more fled his hometown, this time for good. As he put it: “My fart has become a date – it will be remembered forever“. He eventually made his way back to India, where he remained in self-exile for the rest of his life.

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