The All Shoe Lady
Back when I was a shoe store manager, I was working alone one day about a month before Christmas.
I’d like you to note my store had the name ‘Moc’ for Moccasin in it.
This woman came in saying her granddaughter was a size 6. What did I have in a size 6 moccasin?
“About 50 different styles, each in multiple colours and beading patterns”, I said. “It amounts to probably about 120 pairs I could potentially have in my back room. Any particular colour? With beads, or without? With a rubber or plastic sole so she could wear them outside, or a leather sole for indoors? Suede or smooth leather? Deerskin, cowhide, moose hide? With rabbit fur, or not? Sheepskin lining, or unlined?”
“Oh, just bring out every size 6 you have.”
“But ma’am”, I said, “I have about 120 possible pairs. I am also helping several other customers at the moment. Can you please help narrow down the selection?”
“No. Bring out every pair of 6’s you have.”
At this point, even the other customers are looking incredulous or sniggering.
F*ck it, I thought. There was no way I’d leave the storefront empty while I climbed ladders and pulled every godd*mn size six in stock. I was the boss, I was alone. I said unless she would narrow down her preferences, I couldn’t help. She freaked out at me, but I just shrugged and went on helping the reasonable people.
She called the next day, asking to speak to the manager. I replied “Oh! You’re the All the Shoe lady. That was me yesterday, and I am the manager. Have a nice day.” And I hung up.
Nothing ever came of it, and to this day we all remember the All the Shoe lady.