The Dumbest Get-Rich-Quick Schemes in History

The Disappointment of Actual Sea Monkeys

Sea Monkey ads screamed: “Enter the WONDERFUL WORLD OF AMAZING LIVE SEA MONKEYS!” For a measly buck, the reader is promised instant pets that are “SO EAGER TO PLEASE, THEY CAN EVEN BE TRAINED“. All you have to do is add water, and they will hatch as soon as they are wet. It was an irresistible lure for many kids, who eagerly cut out the coupon, placed it in an envelope along with a dollar, scrounged a stamp, and mailed it to a New York City address. After weeks, or sometimes months, of waiting on tenterhooks, the postman finally delivered an envelope that contained a packet and instructions.

As kids soon learned, their pets did not hatch in a second as advertised. Instead, they first had to add a nutrient packet to a bowl of water that transformed it into an icky sludge, wait 24 hours, then add a packet of eggs. Eventually, as the sludge settled on the bottom of the bowl, some tiny whirring motions could be seen. With the help of a magnifying glass, kids finally got to see their Sea Monkeys. Except that they looked nothing like the ad, but more like some strange kind of lice. Contra the fanciful claim in the comic book, what arrived weren’t sea monkeys – there is no such species – but brine shrimp eggs. “Sea Monkeys” was just a marketing term to sucker kids into paying for brine shrimp.

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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading

ABC News – The Pet Rock Captured a Moment, and Made its Creator a Millionaire

Central European History Journal, Vol. 36, No. 1 (2003) – The ‘Captain of Kopenick’ and the Transformation of German Criminal Justice 1891-1914

Dexter, Timothy – A Pickle for the Knowing Ones (1805)

Encyclopedia Iranica – Carrhae

Esquire, August 3^rd, 2020 – Tasaday: The Stone Age Tribe That Never Was

Gonick, Larry – The Cartoon History of the Universe, Part II (1994)

Groovy History – Comic Book Rip-Off Ads: Sea Monkeys, X-Ray Specs, and More

Head Stuff – Crassus, the Richest Man in Rome

Historic Ipswich – Lord Timothy Dexter

History Collection – Strange and Delightful Holiday Traditions of the Victorian Era