21. Jefferson Went Out of His Way to Gather Evidence of the Bigness of North American Animals
Count Georges-Louis Leclerc Buffon diss of North America’s mega fauna seriously ticked off Thomas Jefferson. So he decided to disprove the count’s theory. He went to great lengths – as in totally nutty lengths – to win the argument. Jefferson was extremely upset by Buffon’s Theory of New World Degeneration. Rather than dismiss it as silly gibberish, Jefferson saw Buffon’s take as an insult to America and its potential greatness. So he set out to challenge the Frenchman with evidence of American bigness. For starters, he wrote friends back home, and asked them to measure the size of American animals.
Among the responses was one from James Madison, who sent precise measurements of a Virginian weasel, including the “distance between the anus and vulva“. Like a Founding Father version of George Costanza from Seinfeld, Jefferson grew increasingly obsessed with the need to prove Buffon wrong. So he painstakingly compiled the measurements in a table. It included comparisons such as those between 12-pound American otters versus 8.9-European counterparts, and 410-pound American bears vs 153.7-pound European ones. Eager to confront the Frenchman, Jefferson accepted a dinner invitation at Buffon’s home, and headed there armed with his data for a showdown.