19. The Johnson Who Liked to Boast About His Johnson
Lyndon Baines Johnson would not have fared well in the #MeToo era. For one thing, he wanted everyone to know that he had a really big… male part. For another, he was competitive womanizer. Whenever he heard somebody mention JFK’s numerous affairs, LBJ would bang the table, and boast that he had more women by accident than JFK had ever had on purpose. Today, the sheer number of explicit allegations LBJ’s conduct invited would probably force a presidential resignation – at least if it was a TV president, or a Democrat.
Johnson, who nicknamed his manhood “Jumbo”, had zero humility when it came to his Johnson. Indeed, long before he became president, LBJ had made himself infamous for the nutty ways in which he creeped people out with his privates, especially in Capitol Hill restrooms. If a colleague entered as Johnson was finishing off at the urinal, LBJ would often swing around, still holding his member, and whirl it around while hooting: “Woo-eee! Have you ever seen something as big as this?!” Johnson would then begin discussing pending legislation, while continuing to brandish and shake his beloved “Jumbo”.