Carrying the Bride over the Threshold
Many of our traditional western marriage customs come directly from the Romans. The tradition of the bride wearing white, the bridal flowers and the giving away of the bride to name but a few, have all found their way into western marriage customs by way of the Roman Empire. As marriages have become more secular, not everyone keeps all these old traditions. One, however, tends to be used whether you marry in a church or have simple civil ceremony: carrying the bridge over the threshold.
Thresholds are tricky places for many cultures. To the Romans, standing between the house and the outside world, they were a hinterland where dangerous forces could lurk to accost those who were unprotected. The Romans had three protective deities who protected the doorway: Cardea the goddess of health, thresholds, door hinges and handles, Forculus and Limentius. However, they were of no use to the new bride because until she was officially received in her husband’s household, she was in a spiritual no man’s land.
When a Roman girl was married, she became severed from the protective numen or spirit of her own family. She destroyed her childhood toys and changed her clothes for those of an adult. Many of the trappings of the wedding were designed to protect her during her transition from virgin to wife. While she was married when she reached the threshold of her husband’s house, she had not yet officially been accepted by the numen of his family. That occurred with offerings of fire and water, which she made once she was inside. The tricky part was getting the bride over the threshold safely.
Before crossing, the bride made offerings to the gods of the threshold. She anointed the doorframe with wolf fat, pig fat or olive oil and wooden fillets tied about it to ensure good luck. Then it was time for the bride to enter the house. However, it was important her feet did not touch the threshold in any way for if they did, evil spirits could afflict her and the marriage would be cursed. So she had to be carried- but not by the groom.
Instead, at least two male pronubi, official wedding guests who were friends of the groom and had only been married to one woman, had to lift and carry the bride over the threshold. Once this was achieved, the new wife was safely under the protection of the spirits of her new home and family. She would never again have to worry about the perils of crossing a threshold- unless she decided to marry again.
Superstitions about luck also surround plants which are so hard to find you are lucky to see them.