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Decline and Death of a Degenerate
John XII’s depravity did not preclude him from being a shrewd political operator. Indeed, he needed to be, in order to protect himself from the many enemies who cropped up in reaction to his misconduct and unfitness for office. Aware that his fate would be unenviable if he fell from power, and probably wishing to keep the party going, the Young Pope demonstrated he could intrigue with the best of them. His enemies sought the help of a king Berengar II of Italy, so the pope sent emissaries to king Otto I of Germany, with promises to make him emperor if he came to the Holy Father’s aid.
Otto duly invaded Italy in 961, and forced Berengar to back off. The German king then marched into Rome, and entered it in 962. There, he was welcomed by John XII, who crowned his rescuer as Holy Roman Emperor – the first in the west for nearly half a century. However, it did not take long before the Young Pope began chafing at the growing power and influence of his recently crowned emperor. He especially did not like it when Otto started giving him pointed advice about how he expected the Holy Father to behave.
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Just before marching out of Rome to deal with Berengar, Otto informed John XII, who by then had “passed his whole life in vanity and adultery“, that he needed to straighten up, and start acting like a pope. That did not sit well with John, who had invited Otto into Italy to save him from his enemies, not to tell him how to live his life. So the Holy Father began intriguing against Otto. Within months of crowning him Holy Roman Emperor, John XII was corresponding with Otto’s enemies, seeking to form a league against the emperor.
The new Holy Roman Emperor got wind of the pope’s ingratitude, so he turned his armies around, and marched back to Rome. John XII fled the city, taking the papal treasury with him. So Otto summoned a synod, which deposed the fugitive Holy Father in 963, and installed a puppet pope in his place. However, when Otto left Rome the following year, John XII, at the head of an army of mercenaries, marched back into Rome, and captured the city in February of 964. He then summoned a synod of his own, which pronounced that his deposition had been illegal, and that he was still pope. The restored pope then proceeded to murder and mutilate as many of his enemies as he could lay his hands on.
When Otto heard the news, he prepared to return to Rome and finish the degenerate pope for good, but fate beat him to the punch. After a tumultuous and riotous nine years on the papal throne, this dissolute Holy Father finally died as he had lived, doing what he liked most: he met his Maker while having sex. There are two accounts of John XII’s demise. One account has him dying after suffering a massive stroke, mid coitus. Another account has him dying in the midst of an adulterous sexual encounter, when the woman’s cuckolded husband burst in on the couple and killed the pope by throwing him out of a high story window.
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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading
AV Club – The Young Pope John XII Died as He Lived: Fornicating
Catholic Encyclopedia – Pope John XII
Christianity Dot Com – Roman Synod Deposed Pope John XII
Something Awful – The 6 Most Awful Popes
Vintage News – The Youngest Pope in History Might’ve Also Been the Worst