The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time

The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time

Alli - October 15, 2021

The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time
Gaspar de Craye Philip IV. 1628. Metropolitan Museum of Art

The Play Soldier, King Philip IV of Spain by Gaspar de Crayer

Wow, Spain has a lot of these horrific portraits. King Philip IV of Spain dressed up as cuirassier and stood for a number of modeling sessions with Gaspar de Crayer. Ruling for an astounding 44 years, Philip’s personality is often regarded as reflecting the decline of Spain as a Great Power. Spain’s greatest enemy during this time was France, which entered the Thirty Years’ Conflict in 1635. The reason for this was the successes of the imperial army in the Empire, which received diplomatic and financial support from Spain, against the Protestant electors. France entered into an alliance with Sweden, Holland and Savoy, declaring their intentions against Spain to relieve its allies in the Empire. The Habsburgs were thus caught in a conflict on two fronts, and their initial successes turned into defeat: the dynasty was made painfully aware of the limits of Habsburg fantasies of omnipotence.

Funny enough, after achieving this portrait, Philip needed more. Philip demanded that Gaspar de Crayer painstakingly paint the same portrait again. Only this time with his court dwarf standing by his side. Whether to draw attention to his height or because the dwarf was a favorite of Philip we’ll never know. We can only hope this wasn’t meant to be serious, and that Philip wasn’t in fact so insecure that he had to stand beside an actual dwarf to feel suitably regal. It’s possible he did. On the throne from 1621 – 1665, Philip IV presided over Spain during its slow decline as a world power. Philip’s Spanish Empire had just cut itself loose from the costly Thirty Years. Additionally, Philip did not have very strong reproduction skills either, the sons that were born to him had weak constitutions and there were doubts as to whether they would survive.

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