3. It wasn’t allowed for people to marry out of one’s social class
Upward mobility by resorting to the altar was not allowed in ancient Chinese society, most marriages were arranged by parents, to dispose of often unwanted daughters. The parents hired professional matchmakers to create suitable arrangements. Daughters were considered to be of marriageable age when they were in their early to mid-teens, while young men were usually twice the age of their bride to be. The new wife was literally married into the home of her husband, where her husband’s parents also resided, and was subservient to her husband and his parents. Essentially her relationship with her own parents was over. An unmarried woman of marriageable age was considered a pariah in Chinese society, which brought shame upon her parents, one of the worst transgressions of Chinese life.
In poor Chinese society marital fidelity was considered important, though more important for the woman than it was for the husband. In wealthy circles, which followed similar practices regarding husband and wife finding each other, an unfaithful husband was not only tolerated, it was often expected. The married woman (and the children of a marriage) was considered to be property, owned by the husband and father. From her wedding day onward, her role was to serve her husband, raise their children, and above all demonstrate her respect for the senior male in the house in which she resided, as well as comply with the whims and directions she received from her husband’s mother, her new mother-in-law.