Flirt freely, but only with your fan
With such strictures dictating almost every element of courtship, young men and women of the Victorian Age were forced to revert to new tools and tactics to get to know each other further and take the conversation beyond finances and formality. One of these was the clandestine card. Instead of passing the official dance card or calling card to the young lady’s chaperone, a young man might discreetly pass his lady a card containing a rather risqué message.
Ladies also had cards like these made, but it wasn’t their main weapon. Their primary tool for breaking down the barriers of what was socially acceptable was the multifaceted fan. Ostensibly, a young woman would take it with her to keep her cool and stop her from fainting (not remotely becoming of a lady) at the stiflingly hot dances. In reality, however, innovative Victorian women invented a mode of communication that transcended what they were permitted to say.
Fan language wasn’t particularly hard to decode. If a woman kept her fan closed, it meant she had no interest in the suitor. If she kept it half-open, it meant she was essentially friend-zoning him. If she opened it up completely, however—you guessed it: she was head over heels with the lucky ol’ chap. But as well as these unsubtle messages that were easily decipherable for suitor and chaperone alike, there existed a series of other movements which could convey slightly more secretive signals.
Fanning quickly meant that the woman was independent. Or hot. Fanning slowly meant she was engaged. Or not very hot. Fanning in front of the face using the right hand meant that the suitor was free to continue with his advances. Fanning in front of the face using the left hand meant the same as shutting the fan; she was not interested and he should leave. If a suitor was talking to a young woman repeatedly opening and shutting her fan it meant she wanted to kiss him; if he was talking to a young lady who was swinging her fan it meant she wanted them to go home together.